By now you all know me intimidately so Idon't stand on ceremony (only on my toes).
You want to know more about Oops A Daisy ballet company. As you know it started in Dewsbury with just one dancer and a pianist. Now with Arts Council grant of £4-50 they have expansioned to become big and have recruited international ballet persons from all over the place. Some have strange names but I expect they think you have. Here goes:
corpes de ballet
Gethsemini Hypotenuse, Parsifal Skirtingboard, Wombat Yellowgroin,Xerxes Blasphema. Velocity Spearmint, Osmosis Parabola, Archimedes Celocamph. Appotimus Wotnot and Uriah Hep
The Orchestra
Asparagus J. Fortitude (J is for Jim). Genghis Obelisk, Pythagoras Splurting, Pontius Perambulate and Musical Directors: Hugo Yorway and Domestos Spasmodic.
Tuesday.
Olga phones to tell me about audition she did yesterday. It was to join audience in Saturday night TV shows. "They ask her, "Show us how loud you can scream when I blink an eyelid" Then when singer reaches for a slightly higher note you must scream higher" I pass but then we all have to take bus to Covent Garden Opera House and repeat instruction when soprano dies on stage. We are asked to leave. We are then locked in large cupboard until next show". They hire us out.
I enrole for participate in new Saturday night TV show to follow "Strictly Come Dancing" It is for old persons and called "Strictly Come Walking Slowly".
Thursday
Figure out answer to age old quandry. You know when persons cannot answer question they say silly things like "How Long Is A Piece Of String? " Well I can tell you. 24cm exactly.Prove me wrong if you can.. .
Friday. Dimitri dreams up publicity stint.Says we all go round to St Panceas station and on signal we launch into gopak, you know when Ukrainans kneel and defy gravity by flinging legs out to music and shout "Hoy", "Yar", and "Ouch" when break leg. Idea is that we start proceedings and all travellers join in spontaneously. Much merryment and TV cameras there to put us on Six O'Clock News.
We arrive at St. Pancreas and start to gopak. Police come and say we cause disturbance. I say "Yes, that is idea. Big disturbance where everyone join in". Policeman say you can't gopak here you must go back !" He laughs. We continue to gopak and happy travellers join in. Soon almost six ticket collectors form line, place arms round each other and it's go go gopak.
Ambulance arrives and carts us off to A&E for proceedures (operations in old money) due to broken bones and dignity. Over at Waterloo they are doing Flashmob. Next time we try to get mob to flash.
Saturday and Sunday
practice mob flashing in street but get arrested for causing disturbances. Can't win. See you in court 10- am Monday. See you in Trafalgar Square for mass Hokey Cockey. Date and time to be announced. NAT
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