Natasha Fallenover's Blog 15

Nat's Blog 15 Monday
By now you all know me intimidately so Idon't stand on ceremony (only on my toes).
You want to know more about Oops A Daisy ballet company. As you know it started in Dewsbury with just one dancer and a pianist. Now with Arts Council grant of £4-50 they have expansioned to become big and have recruited international ballet persons from all over the place. Some have strange names but I expect they think you have. Here goes:

corpes de ballet
Gethsemini Hypotenuse, Parsifal Skirtingboard, Wombat Yellowgroin,Xerxes Blasphema. Velocity Spearmint, Osmosis Parabola, Archimedes Celocamph. Appotimus Wotnot and Uriah Hep

The Orchestra

Asparagus J. Fortitude (J is for Jim). Genghis Obelisk, Pythagoras Splurting, Pontius Perambulate and Musical Directors: Hugo Yorway and Domestos Spasmodic.

Tuesday.

Olga phones to tell me about audition she did yesterday. It was to join audience in Saturday night TV shows. "They ask her, "Show us how loud you can scream when I blink an eyelid" Then when singer reaches for a slightly higher note you must scream higher" I pass but then we all have to take bus to Covent Garden Opera House and repeat instruction when soprano dies on stage. We are asked to leave. We are then locked in large cupboard until next show". They hire us out.

Wednesday
I enrole for participate in new Saturday night TV show to follow "Strictly Come Dancing" It is for old persons and called "Strictly Come Walking Slowly".

Thursday
Figure out answer to age old quandry. You know when persons cannot answer question they say silly things like "How Long Is A Piece Of String? " Well I can tell you. 24cm exactly.Prove me wrong if you can.. .

Friday. Dimitri dreams up publicity stint.Says we all go round to St Panceas station and on signal we launch into gopak, you know when Ukrainans kneel and defy gravity by flinging legs out to music and shout "Hoy", "Yar", and "Ouch" when break leg. Idea is that we start proceedings and all travellers join in spontaneously. Much merryment and TV cameras there to put us on Six O'Clock News.

We arrive at St. Pancreas and start to gopak. Police come and say we cause disturbance. I say "Yes, that is idea. Big disturbance where everyone join in". Policeman say you can't gopak here you must go back !" He laughs. We continue to gopak and happy travellers join in. Soon almost six ticket collectors form line, place arms round each other and it's go go gopak.

Ambulance arrives and carts us off to A&E for proceedures (operations in old money) due to broken bones and dignity. Over at Waterloo they are doing Flashmob. Next time we try to get mob to flash.

Saturday and Sunday
practice mob flashing in street but get arrested for causing disturbances. Can't win. See you in court 10- am Monday. See you in Trafalgar Square for mass Hokey Cockey. Date and time to be announced. NAT

Natasha Fallenover's Blog 13

Monday

Invited to literally linch to launch of my tome, “Methuselah, The Early Years” where I meet man from Warsaw who loves Anglish newspaper so much he has one flown in every day. Says he is a Telegraph Pole. Ho! how we chortled ! Also introduced to a Cosmo. Couldn't help asking him if he was Cosmo Politan. More chuckles.

Introduced to literally giant Sebastian Chatworthy. To get conversation going I ask him, “Tell me Bastian how did you get your knighthood ? He walked away.No humour senses.

Speaking of knighthoods reminds me of footballer who when asked if he would like a knighthood said, “No it would come off when he turned over in bed”.

Tuesday.

Flew to New York but engine trouble provoked pilot to announce slight engine failure. We will force come down in Newfoundland. An hour later he said he couldn’t find it.

To pass time I think up backwards names for famous double acts-Wise and Morecambe, Hardy and Laurel. Cowell and Simon.

Wednesday Slobodan, my faithless assistant, says we should go watch Rugby. We head north on M1, turn off onM6, turn left and pull in at lay by.

“So, where is activity we have come to see ? I say. Slob has quickfire answer. “Look, Rugby- a great little town Could watch it all day. Tomorrow we go watch Badminton. Another great little town They have horse trials. Last time I go three were found guilty and two were acquitted”.

Thursday. Read Peace and War frontwards. Standing on head. It was Dmitri’s . Invite fiends round for drink and games. Get in crater of beer. First game we play Tiddly Winks. Drink beer, get tiddly and wink at nice men. Then pay forfeit. No details.

Friday A person called Badly Drawn Boy phones to say can I do guest appearance in his stage show. I tell him I am beautiful painted geriatric and put phone down. Cheeky.

Saturday I give first lesson to ballet person, Miranda Verandah, Dim's new squeeze. She not best pleased when I give her invoice for £2. 50 plus VAT. Cheap price for learning pas de deaux in half an hour and I give her phone number of Covent Garden Opera house. What more does she expect ?

Sunday Anatole, my unknown famous movie man phones to say he make error when he persistently told me Hollywood was interested in my prediction of "King Kong-The Ballet". He said he meant Hollyhead, however he gave me good news that he went to boot sale and bought the world's smallest King Kong. He is just three foot high. "Sign him" I say. We make a packet.

Tickety boo to you all. See you next week. Nat

NATASHA FALLENOVER'S BLOG 13

Natasha’s Blog 13 Daily activities and doings

Monday

Invited to literally linch to launch of my tome, “Methuselah, The Early Years” where I meet man from Warsaw who loves Anglish newspaper so much he has one flown in every day. Says he is a Telegraph Pole. Ho! how we chortled !

Introduced to literally giant Sebastian Chatworthy. To get conversation going I ask him, “Tell me Bastion how did you get your knighthood ? He walked away.

Speaking of knighthoods reminds me of footballer who when asked if he would like a knighthood said, “No it would come off when he turned over in bed”.

Tuesday.

Flew to New York but engine trouble provoked pilot to announce slight engine failure. We will force come down in Newfoundland. An hour later he said he couldn’t find it.

To pass time I think up backwards names for famous double acts-Wise and Morecambe, Hardy and Laurel. Cowell and Simon.

Wednesday Slobodan, my faithless assistant, says we should go watch sporting activities. We head north on M1, turn off onM6 and along A …., Pull in at lay by.

“So, where is activity we have come to see ? I say. Slob has quickfire answer. “Look, Rugby a great little town Could watch it all day. Tomorrow we go watch Badminton. Another great little town They have horse trials. Last time I go three were found guilty and two were acquitted”.

Thursday. Read Peace and War frontwards. Standing on head. It was Dmitri’s .

Natasha Fallenover's Blog 12:

Natasha Fallenover's Blog No. 12

Here I am again and giving you all of my news of daily doings.
Moon day 8am
My old school comrade Olga Korzitzov (Ripper) dropped by to relate anecdotes she has collected. When she went for first interviewing for job she was asked personal questions such as, "Are you a virgin ?". She answered, "No, but I'm working on it"

Then she was asked, "When did you leave school". Crafty thing answered, "About four fifteen".And when did she start work. Would you believe she said, "Nine fifteen am "

To the question, "What hobbies do you have ?" she replied, "Mountaineering".I collect ear rings shaped like mountains". "What qualifications do you have". "I got an A in History". Interview man say, "Don't be silly. There is no A in History"

Tuesday. Olga still here. I offer her coffee and a brownie. She says she would rather have a boy scout. Silly comrade. We go to have her meet my next door neighbour who lives just next door. She is the Hon. Lady Felicity Ponsonby-Fitzherbert. Olga says "I bet she does".Silly comrade. Pons, as we next door neighbours call her, has fallen on hard times and has taken job as school crossing lady. Lady P asks Olga if she has ever been to Patagonia. "No", says Olga, " But I once stroked one at the Moscow zoo".

Wednesday. Dusting flat and find posh envelope down back of sofa. Open envelope and find invitation to Royal Wedding signed by Willie. It was last week so my ballet dance down knave is wasted and I rehearsed it for five weeks.Never mind. Save it for Harry's weeding.

Thursday.I go to watch the over eighties trampoline team rehearserising for the Olympics. One or two grazed knees but only three taken to hospital. My personal team, Dimitri and Slobadom hope to enter synchronised swearing event at Chorlton Cum Hardy Olympics.

Friday, Postponed "Take Your Horse To Work" day is causing traffic chaos and getting animals into lifts is proving a problem. Not much work getting done, I think.