Monday
Invited to literally linch to launch of my tome, “Methuselah, The Early Years” where I meet man from Warsaw who loves Anglish newspaper so much he has one flown in every day. Says he is a Telegraph Pole. Ho! how we chortled ! Also introduced to a Cosmo. Couldn't help asking him if he was Cosmo Politan. More chuckles.
Introduced to literally giant Sebastian Chatworthy. To get conversation going I ask him, “Tell me Bastian how did you get your knighthood ? He walked away.No humour senses.
Speaking of knighthoods reminds me of footballer who when asked if he would like a knighthood said, “No it would come off when he turned over in bed”.
Tuesday.
Flew to New York but engine trouble provoked pilot to announce slight engine failure. We will force come down in Newfoundland. An hour later he said he couldn’t find it.
To pass time I think up backwards names for famous double acts-Wise and Morecambe, Hardy and Laurel. Cowell and Simon.
Wednesday Slobodan, my faithless assistant, says we should go watch Rugby. We head north on M1, turn off onM6, turn left and pull in at lay by.
“So, where is activity we have come to see ? I say. Slob has quickfire answer. “Look, Rugby- a great little town Could watch it all day. Tomorrow we go watch Badminton. Another great little town They have horse trials. Last time I go three were found guilty and two were acquitted”.
Thursday. Read Peace and War frontwards. Standing on head. It was Dmitri’s . Invite fiends round for drink and games. Get in crater of beer. First game we play Tiddly Winks. Drink beer, get tiddly and wink at nice men. Then pay forfeit. No details.
Friday A person called Badly Drawn Boy phones to say can I do guest appearance in his stage show. I tell him I am beautiful painted geriatric and put phone down. Cheeky.
Saturday I give first lesson to ballet person, Miranda Verandah, Dim's new squeeze. She not best pleased when I give her invoice for £2. 50 plus VAT. Cheap price for learning pas de deaux in half an hour and I give her phone number of Covent Garden Opera house. What more does she expect ?
Sunday Anatole, my unknown famous movie man phones to say he make error when he persistently told me Hollywood was interested in my prediction of "King Kong-The Ballet". He said he meant Hollyhead, however he gave me good news that he went to boot sale and bought the world's smallest King Kong. He is just three foot high. "Sign him" I say. We make a packet.
Tickety boo to you all. See you next week. Nat
No comments:
Post a Comment