NATASHA FALLENOVER BLOG 9

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

My daily doings.
Monday.My cousin Laszlo is doing Europe and come for coffee. He tells amusing story of dining in Dublin. He say nice restaurant, great food but best of all wonderful waiter who pampered to every whim. Brought saucer for cup of coffee, fetched fork and knife, gave HP sauce from next table. After meal Laz thought, must give gratuity to waiter but could not find him. He asked manager for whereabouts of waiter. “Ah,” said manager, “That would be old Shamus-the best waiter in all Ireland. He is a very rare man. What we call a rarie, old Irish word for very special person. But he’s gone home and he lives twenty miles away. If you happened to heading north you could call in on him if you really wanted to show your appreciation.” Oh, no” said Laz.Twenty miles you say? It’s a long way to tip a rarrie”. Side split eh ?
Tuesday Grand opening of Rudemiller Fallenover Ballet School I go along to make speech and show pupils how to pas de deux on your own. Lots of celebs attend but Darcey says sorry cannot come. Touring with nice Wales girl. Dim and Slob show off their tights stall (50% off – one tight only) and members of Ooopsadaisy Ballet Company sell tickets for their next prediction- Swan Lake On Ice. The levitation scene has to be seen to be scene.
Wednesday.Walking through Hyde Park when my new mobile phone rings. It is cousin Laszlo.”Hello”, he says, “Lazlo here”. “That is amazing”, I say, “How did you know I was here ?” We chat for hours. I tell him time very long ago when I played in “Joseph And His Amazing Black And White Dreamcoat”. He comes back with funnier antiquedote, “ Did I know”, he says, “When philosopher John Donne said ‘No man is an island’, he overlooked the Isle Of Man?”. I say, “Why is a vote in parliament like Picasso painting?” He doesn’t know so I tell him,- “Eyes to the right, nose to the left and all mouth in the middle”. He laughs till sides split and has to be stretch red to hospital. Eye, nose and throat hospital, no doubt.
ThursdayMan on radio says 50% of all road accidents occur within five miles of home. So why don’t peoples move ten miles away ? Anatole, my faithless producer, phones to chat about next prediction. He says there is too much sex and violence in the theatre so they are putting up signs asking for audiences to behave themselves.
FridayI am guest of honour at big do in city. Lots of fund managers, brokers, corporate chappies and loan sharks. We are here to celebrate amalgamation of the EU and NATO to be known under the acronym EURO-NATE. Too many vodkas and I sing, “Hairy Fairy” in street at 4am Police arrest me just as paparazzi take snapshots of me falling about. Dim and Slob hand out exclusive rights contract to ten photographers. We make a packet as you say in East Finchley.
Saturday & SundaySobering up. Read Tolstoy’s Peace & War backwards. Thinking of becoming suffragette in convent. Toodle pip until next week. Rude
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