Natasha Fallenover's blog 3

NATASHA FALLENOVER’S BLOG NO 3.

What a busy week I am doing. Monday morning I go shopping for new TuTu and ballet shoes. I need cash. I go the hole in one-no that’s not right-hole in wall as you say. I insert card and push buttons. Out comes twenty pound note. I push it back in slot and say in loud voice, “No, please to give me four fivvers”. Little man inside machine does not answer. I raise voice louder. “I want four fivvers, please”. Nothing happens. Now I am rattled, as you say. I shout in very loud voice, “If you do not give me four fivvers I report you to Mr Barclay, boss of your bank. Man behind me in queue laughs. Laugh wiped off his face when four fivvers are pushed out of slot. I say to man who looks amazed. “You see if you don’t try you don’t get”

Lunch with my choreographer, Dimitri(Dim for short) to discuss routine for forthcoming “King Kong-the ballet” in which I play one women prodiction. Dimitri is tough cookie and ruthless. He is totally without ruth but a sweetie. He is also without list.

Tuesday.
I fall during rehearsal and bang my big toe. I am beside myself – my favourite position. But I carry plasters in my rug sack and search underneath rug and all the other todoodlements an artiste of my statue must have at all time in case of misadventure.

Wednesday.
Breakfast with Anatole, my producer. After breakfast we carry on in bed. until Thursday. (see amazing revelations in my forthcoming autobiography published in Goodbye magazine). We discuss concept for TV show based on “An Evening With Darcey Bushel”. We think “A Nightmare With Rudemiller” is not quite right. But ITV is interested.

My friend Olga Korzitov phones for the Urals to say that “Hairy Fairy” –the song Pieter Tchaikovsky wrote for me, is number 10897 in Vladivostok charts. and climbing.

Thursday.
Spend day contemplating on meaning of life. Did you know Paganini was a
genius composer? At eight years old he wrote a nice cantata, for the French he coined the famous Franc sonata. My choreographer, Dimitri, says he has been offered part time job as programme seller at coronations. Millions of people go to coronations so must make a packet. Saw newspaper advert for electric goods. One says “ I Pod Shuffle”. Sounds like 1920 dance routine. Must get music. Above I Pod advert it says. “Free Skins” I could do with a free skin. I wonder if they have one my size.

Friday
Meet with advertising executives. Discuss promotion of new dance craze-the Quango. They say it is update version of Tango only group of people in suits meet to discuss better ways of promoting the Tango They then get paid large sums of money and buy big house in Spain. I think I join. I think they like my slogan for lovely holiday. It goes like this . “Feeling stressed, tired and run down ? Romania is what you need. Why not book a rest in Bucharest ? “ Clever you think, no ?

Must go more green. I am already quite green. Green with envy due to people saying Darcey is best ballet dancer. Must sell car and dance to go shopping. Glasnost forever. Rude

Saturday and Sunday Mind your own business.