Natasha Fallenover's Blog No7

Doings I have done
Monday
I fly to Paris for linch with Monsieur Sarkozy or Sarkozeeee as they pronounce it. My choreographer, Dimitri asked if he could come along. I say no. I am not having him getting up close and personality with that lovely Mrs. President. No way. As a novelty they gave us lunch on top of the Eiffel Tower. Oh, those stairs !. For starters we had frogs legs on toast, followed by fish and chips to cement the Entende Cordiale. Desert was Asparagus Cheesecake with snails pieces in a chilli sauce. Different.

Tuesday
Join Oopsadaisy ballet company in sing song to celebrate their 100th anniversary . They started in a tent in Cleckheaton in 1908 with just one ballerina. Now they have three and a piano player who was there when the company was formed. How they have progressed. I take along first batch of Hairy Fairy cakes as contribution to festivities. We have a right old knees up as you say in Bermondsey.

Wednesday
My friend Olga Korzitzov is back from the Urals with sad news of former choreographer, Rudolf Potemkin. Olga says he fell from his 35th floor Moscow apartment just before his death. “Just before his death ?”, I exclaim. “Yes,” replied dear Olga, who is two tutus short of a Bolshoi, “He died thirty seconds later”.

Thursday
My tour manager, Slobodan O’Riley is part time inventor man. He showed me his latest gizmo-singing umbrella. It goes like this. When rain hits special sensor, activation of mini CD player secreted in top of umbrella plays just one tune-Gene Kelly singing, “Singing In The Rain”. This provides inspiration for umbrella operator to run down street, miming to Mr Kelly whilst dancing and jumping on and off pavement/sidewalk (if you are in America). Dance past smiling policeman, splash through available puddles and bring happiness to community whilst getting soaked through. Whole neighbourhood join in. Good, eh ?

Friday. Working on my big book – big books bring big bucks says my publisher Hyme.(remember his autobiography-“Hyme To The Moon”. Slick title ,eh ?
What is book, you ask ? It is a biography. “Methuselah-The Early Years”.

Saturday

E mail from Hollywood. They want option to do “Methuselah –The Ballet” as a spectacle movie. They will then do a re-make thus creating a pair of spectacles.

Sunday

Read story about Keira Knightley in talks ( why does no one ever have just one talk ?) to be Eliza Doolittle in remake of film, “My Fair Lady”. Big question is will the movie be shown twice Knightley ? Side split joke.

Madonna is not returning my calls again. She didn’t return my calls yesterday or the day before. Maybe deal to team up is off. I get that nice Wales girl instead. She perfect for role of Meths so long as she is prepared to wear long white beard. No sweat as you say in Whitechapel. Why do people in East Enders say SOMEFINK and wosatsuposamean ?
Can’t they speak the Queen’s Anglish ?